Note that my prediction about Prodigy did not come to pass. Prodigy users never really figured out how to find Usenet; after the Usenet oldbies ranted about the AOL newbies for about two years, next came WebTV.
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Proposal to end all AOL-bashing! Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, news.misc, alt.config, alt.fan.warlord Organization: HappyNet Headquarters Date: Wed, 26 Oct 1994 11:39:43 GMT First Delphi was connected to the Internet, and people started complaining about Delphi users. Then AOL, and next Prodigy. This is, of course, insensitive to the dozens of users at those sites who are not bozos. Therefore, I move we do something to stop all the people whining about Delphi/AOL/Prodigy users, as well as boosting the self-esteem of anyone using those services. What I'm suggesting is that we create a *new* commercial service designed to be even crappier than those three combined. I call this idea CrappyNet. CrappyNet has an entirely graphical interface: text is, quite naturally, represented by a series of little icons, one for each word (these "rebusymbols"(TM) are fetched from a large dictionary stored on one of the six CrappyNet CD-ROMs that will ship with every new computer.) The CrappyNet-to-Usenet gateway would be specifically designed to introduce misspellings, change everything to capitals, cross-post to the wrong newsgroups, repeat the same posting fifty times per second, and generally introduce a "destructosurprise"(TM) element into Usenet at large. We would need merely to find five or six suckers to use this service (and anyone stupid enough to use it would be willing to pay our $500/hr charges with which we will fund this grand venture.) Just as people largely stopped complaining about Delphi when AOL appeared, and as people will quiet down about AOL once Prodigy becomes prominent, people will shift to picking on our five or six CrappyNet users once the service develops a reputation--which should take about five hours of heavy use. To secure these five or six key users, we will simply advertise in technical journals such as "Mondo 2000", "Omni", "Wired", and "Cracked". -- K. CrappyNet is a joint venture of John Palmer and BIFF. CrappyNet software may not be exported to countries which are our friends, but is being given free to Cuba.
James "Kibo" Parry | kibo@world.std.com | last revised Mar. 12, '98 |
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