He's the guy who wants to blow up the Moon.
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: EQUIVALENCE OF MASS AND TIME
Newsgroups: sci.physics, sci.astro, sci.math, alt.religion.kibology
Organization: welcome datacomp
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 1997 04:13:05 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 9002 centons, 73 microns, .09 zeos
X-Newsreader: UnixTV. All the power of a UNIX mainframe, in a TV!
In [sci.physics/math/astro], abian@iastate.edu (Alexander Abian) wrote:
>
> I have received many, many e-mails asking me to further elucidate my
> theory of EQUIVALENCE OF MASS AND TIME.
>
> I cannot give all the lengthy details and explanations that I have
> posted in the past. I give here the following brief comments.
>
> My concept of TIME is not the usual incoherent, unconvincing, incongruous,
> inconsistent and naive notion of Time of the mainstream scientific
> establishment.
Dr. Abian --
Did you see the latest episode of that "Brigham Circle" show?
There was a character who was clearly based on you!
I don't know if he'll be back next episode, but I hope he will,
as he made a good show even better.
-- K.
Does anyone recognize the
weird typeface in the
Brigham Circle credits?
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: EQUIVALENCE OF MASS AND TIME
Newsgroups: sci.math, sci.astro, sci.physics, alt.religion.kibology
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
Organization: welcome datacomp
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 1997 05:25:37 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 9002 centons, 73 microns, .09 zeos
X-Newsreader: UnixTV. All the power of a UNIX mainframe, in a TV!
In [sci.math/physics/astro] Alexander Abian (abian@iastate.edu) wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Dimensions are fanatical prepubescent preclimactic ecstasies
> >>> and highly political indoctrinations of the ruling classes
> >>> of scientific reactionary hierarchy!! To maintain their personal
> >>> political power structure, the scientific politburo has
> >>> brain-washed the populous by fatuous fairy tales creating
> >>> ludicrous bureaucrtical dictatorships of cults in the name of
> >>> their saints!!!!
Eric Kline (emk9267@acs.tamu.edu) wrote:
> >>
> >> Clear evidence that it is possible to abuse a thesaurus...
Jeffrey Lockshin (lock@dialup.ptt.ru) wrote:
> >
> > ....not to mention grammar, style, punctuation, spelling, language in
> > general and English in particular.....
Abian answers:
>
> If the "idea" is communicated, the grammar, style, punctuation, spelling,
> language in general and English in particular..... do not matter much.
>
> For instance, Jeff, if someone writes the message:
>
> " Yu is imnmatoor inttelektuially asss vel immosionaliey "
>
> I hope that you have enough brains to clearly understand the "idea"
> involved in the message!!!
Oh yeah? Sez who? Yer mama!
Yu is imnmatoor inttelektuially asss vel immosionaley WITH SPRINKLES!
> --
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ABIAN MASS-TIME EQUIVALENCE FORMULA m = Mo(1-exp(T/(kT-Mo))) Abian units.
> ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS
> ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT
> TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)
--
----------------------------------------------------------
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALTER ABIAN'S TOUPEE AND LILT -- STOP PUTTING SECRET CHEESE IN KIBO'S BURRITO
BLOW MOON OUT OF EARTH ORBIT BY SEPTEMBER 13, 1999 -- CANCEL STAR TREK AGAIN
ABIAN MUST BE GIVEN A NEAR-FATAL DURIAN ENEMA TO BECOME AN ABIAN WITH AN ENEMA
--
-- K.
This post is a tribute to
Joorl Walker, who wrote
"Da Amnmatoor Sientisss".
--
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: What is time?
Newsgroups: sci.physics, sci.astro, sci.physics.relativity,
alt.sci.physics.new-theories, alt.religion.kibology
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 1997 04:57:20 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1023 centons, 97 microns, .01 woxwox
X-Newsreader: Rhapsody For Atari 2600
In four science groups, abian@iastate.edu (Alexander Abian) wrote:
>
> > "Chris Lieding" (samuel@mauigateway.com) wrote:
> > >
> > > Einstein's simple and yet profound answer to this question was that time
> > > is what we measure with clocks (i.e. any device that counts cycles of
> > > periodic motion).
>
> Abian comments:
>
> If someone other than Einstein had uttered the fatuous, non-sensical,
> foolish and void of any content ridiculous and ludicrous utterance:
>
> (1) "Time is what we measure with cocks"
>
> that person would hove been ridiculed, mocked, jeered, sneered at,
> laughed at and would have been called a "circular simpleton-idiot"
I swear, honestly, I did *not* alter that in any way. Apparently
the benevolent yet profound Dr. Alexander Abian is in a cock-measuring
contest with the noble yet dignified Dr. Albert Einstein.
May the best man win!
> But when Einstein uttered that void of any content nonsense - Oh,
> some people kneel on their knees in supplication and marvel in
> a climactic ecstasy at the profundity of statement (1).
> There is no limit to subservience and servitude and hypocrisy!!!
Oh yeah well you are covered with TWO HUNDRED AND ONE TONS of cosmetic lava!
> If (1) is proclaimed to be "profound" then the following should be
> decreed as " super-super brilliant, ingenious and profound":
>
> " Time is Mass, that mass which is spent by Cosmos to move the
> present instant forward "
Someone said that on "Brigham Circle" last week. Then the laugh track broke.
> --
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ABIAN MASS-TIME EQUIVALENCE FORMULA m = Mo(1-exp(T/(kT-Mo))) Abian units.
> ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS
> ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT
> TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALTER ABIAN'S GENDER AND ELECTRICAL CHARGE - TO EMIT ELECTRONS & CHARM
ALTER BATHTUB VOLUME - ALTER LAVA LAMP WATTAGE - ALTER WALTER CRONKITE
TO RECREATE BILL MURRAY'S CAREER
-- K.
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: What is time? (Time has inertia. Equivalence of Mass and Time)
Newsgroups: sci.physics, sci.astro, alt.religion.kibology, alt.fan.warlord
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 1997 02:59:43 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1023 centons, 97 microns, .01 woxwox
Organization: welcome datacomp
X-Newsreader: Rhapsody For Atari 2600
In [sci.*], abian@iastate.edu (Alexander Abian) wrote:
>
> Nevermind what Einstein has said. Do not make out of Einstein
> another Mao Tse Tung, or a religious prophet.
Yes! Especially since I'm those three already!
> Einstein said
> lots of idiotical things one of which is that "measurement" indoctri-
> nation. What do you mean by measuring the distance betweeen two points
> A and B. What do you mean by a "point"?
The shortest distance on the top of your head.
> If by a point you mean a "dot" such as " . ". Then put an electronic
> microscope on top of that dot you will see that the dot becomes
> something like
> .\//'';"".......
> ';';'::;""
> ""';;;;';'
> ..,..,```""''
THIS IS YOUR MOON
> So, your two point A and B become
>
>
> ,...';;;.//.. """""""''; \\\...,'"";;;;
> \\\\\,.';;;;;; ,,.''::'':'':"'\\
> A B
> ,,,,..''''//;/\\\ ::"";;'':<<.>>//
> ,,..>>,<<'';;; \\\\\'''""'//
THIS IS YOUR MOON BLOWN OUT OF ORBIT WHICH PLASTIC BARF IS BIGGER?
> Now, YOU MEASURE, you " MEASURE" (your sacred word MEASURE!!) Now
> you measure the distance between the two points A and B . What is
> it !!!
What is it !!! In the road !!! A head !!!
> So, don't give me that idiotical "measurability" " unfalsifiability"
> "testability" "scientific criteria"
"sentence structure"
> As my above illustration shows, Your measurement of the distance
> between two points A and B becomes a NONSCIENTIFIC METAPHYSICAL
> notion that you so obhor!!!!
Yeah well I double obhor your obhorlottitude!
> Time is not what the "clocks indicate" that utterance of Einstein is
> a prepubescent naive ridiculous notion. TIME HAS INERTIA and there is
> an EQUIVALENCE OF MASS AND TIME!!!!!
> --
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ABIAN MASS-TIME EQUIVALENCE FORMULA m = Mo(1-exp(T/(kT-Mo))) Abian units.
> ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS
> ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT
> TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)
I said it before and I'll say it again:
ALTER ABIAN'S TROUSER HEM AND CROTCH - STOP FASHION DISASTERS AND EXPECT FLOODS
ALTER SOLAR SYSTEM. ALTER LEGO SETS. CALGON TAKE VENUS AWAY INTO A NUDE
BUBBLE BATH TO CREATE A STEAMY SPICE GIRLS VIDEO (1989)
-- K.
ObHor: Erin Moran today
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: TIME HAS INERTIA (EQUIVALENCE OF MASS AND TIME)
Newsgroups: sci.physics, sci.physics.relativity, alt.sci.physics.new-theories,
sci.astro, alt.religion.kibology
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 1997 04:17:40 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1023 centons, 97 microns, .01 woxwox
Organization: welcome datacomp
X-Newsreader: Rhapsody For Atari 2600
In [sci.*], abian@iastate.edu (Alexander Abian) wrote:
>
> Chris Fanks excretes with the following fecal garbage:
> >
> > A dot can serve as a point down to the radius of the dot.
Unless it's a triangular dot, in which case it's the hypoteneuse of the dot.
> Abian answers
>
> "the radius of the dot" ! that is the ultimate idiotical, crazy and
> silliest notion!!!
How about a dot that tastes like bacon and goes "quack quack"?
That would be sillier. I HAVE DESTROYED YOUR WHOLE THEORY!!!!
> Chris continues to expectorate the most idiotical garbage:
>
> > Most reasonable people
> > would measure from the center of dot A to the center of dot B, ...
>
> Abian answers:
>
> I told you that under an electronic microscope your dot "."
> will look like
>
> ';;;'::';';\\|\\/
> ```===';;'.,,//\\||\\\\...
> ''''''//;''''""'' //
> ++///..;::'';';; ;;;..
> ''';;;;.
> l''''=;.,,.>>,<<+==\\;'';
> >>>>
>
> Where is the center of the dot? You....
Okay, if Chris Fanks is the little blank space at the exact center of
the exploding USS Enterprise, I wanna be the comma in ">>,<<" at bottom
center. And the dangling "l" at bottom left? That's Wayne Newton.
So who are all the other ASCII characters in this blot, huh?
RORSCHACH TESTS TO BE REPLACED BY ABIAN'S EXPLODING DOTS
> [...]
> Cris continues do pour out a total garbage, silliest nonsense,
> exhibiting cerebral hemorrhoids
> >
> > This capitalized nonsense still does not tell you how to measure
> > time. Einstein did tell us. You don't. Take a back seat.
> >
>
> Abian answers:
>
> I told you a million times TIME can only be measured by a
> Cosmic massmeter!! Do you understand ? You....
Not surprisingly, Abian's "Cosmic Massmeter" looks like an avocado green
bathroom scale wrapped in aluminum foil!
> --
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ABIAN MASS-TIME EQUIVALENCE FORMULA m = Mo(1-exp(T/(kT-Mo))) Abian units.
> ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS
> ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT
> TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)
ALTER ABIAN'S ALUMINUM FOIL NAPOLEON HAT - STOP SPOT POST TOPS POTS OPTS NIX PIX
UNLOCK THE EARTH'S CAPS LOCK - MAKE EINSTEIN STAY ON HIS SIDE OF THE CAR SEAT
HELLO, I AM ORANGE JULIUS!
-- K.
P.S. Dr. Abian, you
are such a wacky
phlezofigler.
| James "Kibo" Parry | kibo@world.std.com | last revised Mar. 12, '98 |
Web site contents & design: Copyright © 1997, 1998 James "Kibo" Parry, all rights reserved.